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A year without Bec

04 Jan 2008 / 0 Comments / in general stuff, Oxfordshire

It’s a year ago today since my best friend – my Best Woman – Rebecca van der Putt died, aged only 38. It is true to say that not a single day has passed when I haven’t thought about her.


She always enjoyed a cuppa: “Builders, please, no sugar”

She was so woven into the fabric of my life that everything I do, and everywhere I turn in my house there is something there to remind me of the force, colour, creativity and light she brought: the gorgeous photographic portraits she took of my children; a comment she made about the colour of the walls in my hallway being ‘blood red, the colour of women’.


With her doggies, Buster and Meg

I look in the garden and remember the absurd frog-in-the-watering can incident. I take a shower and remember the trouble she had getting the temperature just right; “Bloody taps!”. I do the washing and I see ‘her towel’ in the airing cupboard. I go to the loo and remember it was she who arranged the order in which the tiles should be stuck to the wall behind the sink. She is everywhere! And that’s a good thing.

Even when we were in Egypt last week, she was there with us: every day I wanted to send her postcards; we used her binoculars to watch the birds on the Nile; and I even met a doctor who had worked in the hospice where she died.


A hot day’s fishing, she stripped down to her bra. We caught loads!

The gaping Bec-shaped hole in my life is now filled with a sense of wonder that I could have so lucky to be loved by such an inspirational, free-thinking, creative and witty woman.


Bec on a Welsh mountainside, adjusting her trousers!


Bec was Best Woman and official photographer at our wedding. Here she is in action, with her wife Kate and my nephew George.
There are so many of us whose lives she touched who today will be thinking of her, missing her, remembering her. And in a fraction of a second, she was gone.

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