|I’ve smoked tobacco for the past 27 years. But on Friday evening I smoked what I hope was my final cig as an habitual smoker.
Last winter my children begged me to stop, so I promised to cut down a bit. Which I did. But the truth is I like smoking. I like the ritual, the flame, I enjoy the head rush and that lovely warm nicotine buzz. I didn’t really want to stop. And as I’ve never tried to quit smoking before I didn’t know how hard or not it would be.
Since I cut down, I’ve been privately looking for a reason to quit. Because I like smoking it would have to be a profoundly good reason, quite apart from all the well-known benefits of not smoking.
On Friday night on our way home from the Paul Rodgers gig I got the reason on a plate. I heard the news that my best friend has been diagnosed with cancer. What will happen is not known. Two years ago this weekend she was Best Woman and Official Photographer at my wedding to Moth. If you know her, you’re a very lucky person indeed. Out of respect and love for her I quit the moment I heard the news. I’d already had my last fag and I didn’t even know it was. My friend has to cope with staring down the barrel of the loaded Cancer Gun at point blank range. I simply have to cope with nicotine withdrawal.
I’m not denying I want a cig. I want one A LOT. I want one RIGHT NOW. I want to inhale deep and long and feel that marvellous tingle… But I’m not going to have one. It’s easy to resist when I think of the fight my friend is about to face.
Today I’m using a 10mg patch and my craving is a lot less than it was yesterday. Today Moth quits.
I can’t promise I’ll never smoke another fag in my life, because that would be unrealistic and probably a lie. But I’m going to try never to be an habitual smoker again.